Jashin bless Sasori!
by Catherine3
Summary: What would be Hidans ideal woman? And why the hell had he thought about it in his failed day off? Blame that Uchiha! What Hidan did not expect was that his ideal woman would appear beside him to ask directions and he would simply ignore her.


_Hey :D_

_English isnt my first language so, sorry for the errors, 'kay? . _

_And.. this is also the first fic i write in english .. ah well, i hope you enjoy it :) _

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><p><strong>Oneshot<strong>

Hidan sighed as he watched people enter and leave the coffee. Beside him, Deidara seemed really interested in what a customer told him and when he turned back, he found Konan coming out from the back with a huge frown.

- Where's Pain?

- Fuck, do i have to watch him? Is he my boyfriend by any chance? Put him a leash! Today was my day off, i should be at home watching any program on television rather than put up with you here like an idiot! - he complained, ignoring the deadly look she gave her and went out into the street to smoke.

As if wasn't enough to have lost his day off because of Sasori and his fucking sick grandmother, he still had to play detective and find the boyfriend of that crazy bitch? Fucking day.

If he was Pain, he would have already sent that crazy blue hair bitch crying home, she was even more annoying than that hysterical girls who visited the coffee just to see the Uchiha wearing a fucking white apron and serve tables. What the hell did he have that made them like him so much? He was also handsome! But that fuckin Uchiha had a mountain of women after him!

However, this thought made him reflect on other things. He had to get a girlfriend, he was already single for a long time and Itachi was saying that he was gay and went out with Kakuzu. Fuck, it was starting to be annoying. However, he didn't want someone as boring as Konan or brainless as those who ran after Itachi. Fuck, he wanted someone with class - not that he had much too - and especially, with a huge rack! Like that blonde he saw on the evening news ... Tsunade or something.

- _A-ano, could y-you tell me w-which way is t-the b-bank?_

He didn't even hear the question.

He was so engrossed in his quest for the ideal woman that he completely ignored the young woman at his side, accompanied by a girl who looked like her.

Hidan frowned, taking another drag.

- _A-ano, t-the b-bank please?_

Besides the rack, she shouldn't talk too much, or be too quiet. Damn, he hated working with Kakuzu for the simple fact that he never speaks, that took him to the nerves ...but mostly, his ideal woman had to curse ..._a lot_, as much as him. But fuck it, it had to be a miracle to find someone like that!

And was lost in his thoughts that he didn't see the handbag flying straight to his face.

- What the fuck? – he cried, looking to the side and finding a young woman, slightly lower than him. Her indigo hair was in a bun and pale eyes looked quite irritated at him. The small red mouth was closed in a frown and her pale skin contrasted with the black dress she wore. The girl behind her - certainly her sister - was with the mouth full-open in surprise for her sisters act.

- I am kindly asking you where the hell is the fucking bank and everything you do, you big dumb albino, is to look at nothing like a idiot! Now, tell me where the fucking bank is or I'll have to hit you again with the damn bag!

- Hinata! – squeaked the younger, completely surprised.

Hidan's eyes widened.

The melodious voice. The big breasts - he could notice the size due to the v-neck dress. The curses. Fuck it, if it was not an omen what was that then! He had just met the woman who he would live with for the rest of his fucking life!

He looked at the sky as if God had sent him a present and then... she hit him in the face with the bag... again.

- I'm waiting! – shouted the girl, her face slightly red with anger and embarrassment by the looks he gave her.

Behind her the youngest seemed about to faint, probably because her sister wasnt acting normally.

Hidan took a step forward and then he grabbed her hands, staring at her with shining eyes.

Hinata's eyes widened and she blushed even more, before shaking his hands away and beat him with the bag once more.

- Damn pervert!

- Hinata! – screamed the younger.

- Oh my god – exclaimed the brunette, finally realizing what she had done. She had beaten him... three times. Never in her life she had said so many curses in one single phrase... but was all his fault! That damn albino had ignore her, if he was beaten with the bag so many times she wasn't the one to blame. She blushed at the thought, scolding herself immediately ... she was an educated lady, created to be the perfect la ... heavens! Just by looking at his face she wanted to punch him! She shook her head, no, Hinata Hyuga wasn't like that... She was a quiet person and... fuck it! - G-Gomenasai - she shuttered, almost burning inside with desire to send him to hell.

The albino blinked in surprise and then grinned - only if you go out with me.

The brunette opened her mouth in surprise. Behind her, the younger sister's eyes widened, about to have a heart attack and then Hinata laughed.

- Fuck, whatever. Be here tomorrow at five o'clock. Now, where is the damn bank? - Hidan pointed across the street and told her to turn left. Hinata thanked him, blushing and reprimanded herself for cursing so much. But she couldn't help it, that bloody man could bring up her most vulgar side in a instant.

And Hidan... ah, Hidan was watching the woman of his life depart in an almost mesmerizing sway of the hips. He could hardly wait to show that bomb to Uchiha! Ahah he wanted to see who was gay now! Let him keep to those Mary-boards while he had the brunette with big breasts!

**Jashin bless Sasori** and his sick grandmother! That was the best day off ever!


End file.
